Accountability Week 2, Day 4

(Colossians 3:12 – 13) Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 4:16 – 17) After you read this letter, pass it onto the church at Laodicea so they can read it, too. And say to Archippus, “Be sure to carry out the ministry the Lord gave you”.

Being reminded again and again to be tender and forgive. We are reminded who God is, that Christ is in us, and that we have this common language of healing woven throughout our whole history as people on this planet. We all have our unique calling and ministry to carry out. Read the letters, share the messages, set our sights on the realities of heaven where Christ sits at God’s right hand.

As a parent, I can get bombarded with varying and conflicting suggestions on the optimum way to rear children – free range, classical, Charlotte Mason, private, public, co-ops. Each of these styles seem to focus either exclusively on the child or the teacher/author. But ultimately it comes down to each child realizing they are here for a purpose. God has fashioned them with unique gifts and bends. Let us find our reason and purpose in Him and loving others. Let the word of the Lord ring out from us to people everywhere. We are looking forward to the coming of God’s Son from heaven – Jesus, whom God raised from the dead. We can pray for this, press into this, trust God for this for ourselves, our children, and our world.

This desire has urged me onto the step up to the 31-day challenge. I was up at 6:40 which is a bit later than I had planned, which in the past would have derailed me, but I got up and started in on the rhythms of the day. Got dressed. Lit some candles. Prayed and journaled for the first early hour of the day. Tried not to get lost in the vortex of the internet. No perfection needed, just stepping in with tenderness. Focusing on these three areas are hopefully helping me to align my values with my actions:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. This ties in closely with my second challenge of reading two books. “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber are turning my world upside down. I really had no idea that I was living life so backward for so many years. Being honest with myself and being myself was suppressed because of fear. “But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” (Eph. 5:13 – 14) I can really say that I’ve suppressed living because of fear of failure or rejection that I’ve felt dead. It’s time to wake up and come alive.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. I’m still reading through those books but also slid in “Persuasion” as well to add fiction and delight.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Well, so far so good. I cannot believe it is January 23 and I’m still using the budget and still on target. So many years have passed where I just dropped off doing this about week two because I felt that if I didn’t do it exactly right then I’d failed and so I would quit. Holding onto perfection, hiding away when all things seem to fall apart, expecting too much of myself or others – these are habits that need to go. Starting up new healthy habits is startling. Which reminds me, I need to add “drink 75 oz water a day.”

Wow, this was longer than I expected to go today. It’s already 8:00 a.m. so time to get going on the day. How is your 31-day challenge going? It’s never to late to join in.

Long Time No See

It’s been more than a year since I’ve spent time to write out my thoughts about homeschooling. At this rate I’m averaging about two posts a year.

But believe me there have been many hours spent listening, talking, mulling, daydreaming, reading, searching, trying, failing, succeeding, and sweating over this thing we are working through in our home. This record of my meandering and digging in various potholes is enlightening. It reveals an intense desire to do this thing right. And really the core issue is searching for the best method to ensure peaceful days. When I imagined marriage I imagined perfection since we were both going to be nice and peaceful people. I imagined perfect parenting and perfect children because we were going to be kind and endearing. I imagined there was a particular path we could walk to guarantee successful relationships, education, and a lucrative lifestyle.

So I tried listening to many voices that seemed to call to me with a guaranteed approach to living perfectly. Sure they did not actually guarantee perfection but it all did sound heavenly. We tried our hand at a co-op which was beneficial in many ways but really left myself and my creative middle daughter in tears. I even scolded my youngest out of anger – in front of everyone – gasp! So humbling and horrifying.  I took the wheel many times in my oldest son’s lessons to ensure success. Wow this is all so hard to write.

This year it was decided to be independent and study topics of individual interest while also using a reading/history curriculum that helped me to feel as though we would be exposing ourselves to general topics we might not simply stumble upon on our own. The summer season of planning was rather frenetic. I attended a homeschool convention which was hosted by two vastly different schools of thought. A classical homeschool founder presented her ideas to a thirsty crowd of parents while Todd Wilson known as The Smiling Homeschooler has his own homeschool ministry also offered his insight. What I noticed about the two experiences was one presenter seemed quite stoic and might I add stressed, while the other looked genuinely happy. At this point I knew I needed genuinely peaceful and happy. But there I go again looking to people to point out the right path for my family and judging hearts that I don’t even know.

So I’ve come full circle again to my initial mantras of loving my kids where they are, not putting pressure in academics but building relationships, and looking for opportunities to smile. My children are growing up quickly. It feels there are not many more days left to make memories while we are a full house. 

GRATITUDE

I’m so pleased that we purchased that old RV and drove all over the state for our son’s golf tournaments, we finally camped in Homer, we booked that introductory flight for our son to actually fly a small plane, we helped our middle daughter realize her dream of getting her parrolet from a breeder in Florida, we enrolled our youngest back into gymnastics but at the recreation level, we dropped the honors level of Biology class for our son and are doing the basic level with me studying alongside him so he can learn good notetaking and study skills, and we accommodated our middle daughter’s desire to change math curriculum and encourage her to be a mermaid.

There is no magic formula. There is no perfect curriculum. There is no guaranteed system. There is the masterpiece of my child.

Psalm 138:8 The LORD will work out His plans for my life – for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever.

 

 

 

Experimenting with Structure & Creativity

Alan has been working on a science experiment as an assignment through his co-op (more about this later) and it made me think how fun it has been to personally experiment in the world of structure and creativity. During our Christmas break, I’ve picked up some wonderful resources that seem to scratch that creativity itch that occasionally taps on my shoulder. I’ve really enjoyed reading the biographies of some very artful ladies. Maybe you’ve heard of them?

• Morgan Day Cecil. If you have an opportunity to take one of her on-line classes, follow along on her YouTube channel, connect on Facebook or Instagram, DO IT! She is a wild feminine force and she gently leads us into wholeness.
• Julia Cameron at juliacameronlive.com wrote “The Artist’s Way”. I’m currently going through her online artist class. This class is something that I could recommend to any woman – let alone any woman who is homeschooling. There are daily, weekly and monthly exercises used to awaken your mind and soul. Fabulous. Life changing. (I mention some of the practices later in the post).
• Susan Branch at susanbranch.com along with her delicious list of book recommendations. She has inspired me to work on sketching, watercolor painting, and lettering.
• Lesley Austin writes on all things beautiful, simplicity, and quiet. I use her Wild Simplicity Daybook to journal what we have learned each day in our homeschooling journey. She is a place of calm retreat.
• Gladys Taber  wrote monthly diaries about living in Cape Cod. She depicts a relaxed and fully engaging lifestyle that I would like to embody.

I know these are alot of links and with today’s internet noise it can feel overwhelming to be handed so many recommendations. But I have to say – these ladies are inspirational. I think the beauty of it is that you’ve come across your own inspirational resources. It is amazing that when we open ourselves up to growth and movement, the resources appear on our doorstep. I believe that is the same with our children and their interests. As you experiment and open your heart and mind to experiences that point you toward your Maker, you are bound to experience renewed hope and joy.

So, this year we embarked on a very “unlike me” type of journey. We signed up to participate in a classical co-op which is quite regimented in my perspective. Being a person who enjoys freedom to frolic about and not comment to any particular “system”, I have found that this co-op to be a surprisingly great experience for my oldest. He is 13. He loves friends. He likes a good challenge. And at this point in his life he enjoys a good debate. Although he is quiet, he will speak his mind when given the opportunity in public.

However, my very creative and free-flowing middle daughter has considered each Monday in this co-op a type of “torture that she wishes never to repeat again”. So we will close out this year as best we can. My expectation was simply to glean as much as we could from this experiment. I would probably have pulled her out at the end of this last semester but intense me signed up to be a tutor and I’m with it for the year.

I personally have really enjoyed the journey and find that having a group to meet with keeps me on my toes. The families there are lovely. Our tutor, Miss Beth, in Alan’s class of a little less than a dozen 8th graders, is a kindred spirit. She really makes the whole thing worth if for me. As much as a resist some of the premises of this type of co-op,  I’ve learned so much and my daughter will admit she has as well. She recites all the little songs and factoids she has learned over the past 12 weeks. She has the opportunity to amass a little more knowledge in the next 12 weeks and will be counting the days until they are complete.

Our 2016-2017 homeschool experiment is at the half-way point. Will my son return next year? Probably if the same tutor continues to teach. Will my middle daughter? No. Will my youngest daughter? Probably not. But I have to say that the monthly small reimbursements for teaching have sparked a personal interest in continuing a side income-producing opportunity. I’ve been so excited to “take the family out” with the money that I have earned. I’ve never had to work so hard for money but it feels so invigorating.

We will see how my experiment with writing daily morning pages, weekly artist dates, and taking silent walks each week will open the door to more opportunities to teach and create. These exercises are recommended by Julia Cameron in her book, “The Artist’s Life”. I feel like the resources that I’ve recommended have given me a real boost of energy. Now I need to create boundaries around this new enthusiasm and really connect with my family and friends. I can get lost in the self-discovery journey and forget to enjoy the people and experiences in the present. How do you spark joy and continue focusing on your family?

(P.S. Started brewing my own Kambutcha. Thanks Samantha!)

This is how I live dangerously

(P.S.S. No academics over the last few weeks. Instead, we all slept a lot, poured ourselves into our passions, and laughed a lot.)

 

Their lists typify each personality