Accountability Week 4, Day 3

Psalm 33:¹ Let the godly sing for joy to the Lord;
    it is fitting for the pure to praise him.
² Praise the Lord with melodies on the lyre;
    make music for him on the ten-stringed harp.
³ Sing a new song of praise to him;
    play skillfully on the harp, and sing with joy.
⁴ For the word of the Lord holds true,
    and we can trust everything he does.
⁵ He loves whatever is just and good;
    the unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth.

⁶ The Lord merely spoke,
    and the heavens were created.
He breathed the word,
    and all the stars were born.
⁷ He assigned the sea its boundaries
    and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs.
⁸ Let the whole world fear the Lord,
    and let everyone stand in awe of him.
⁹ For when he spoke, the world began!
    It appeared at his command.

Have you ever watched a video that shows you the perspective of flying away from earth to the outer reaches of our known universe. Those images leave me in wonder and all my worries melt away. If our Father created all this by speaking, why should I worry. Yet many days I send my throat constricted and my chest feels weighed down. There are some relationships in this life that feel very broken. “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” All through my life I’ve seen His working together. So when I’m feeling like crying or anxiously weighed down by what doesn’t feel “right”, I soak in The Truth of His unfailing Love.

Just a couple days away from this 31-day challenge and I’m thrilled to see some progress.

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Lizzy and I posted a new vlog on Youtube at Kim Huitt. We talk about working together through our days. We both have desires and expectations of course. It’s challenging when those desires seem to be at odds. I’m so thrilled we can share a bit of our story. There are so many inspiring homeschooling families who are doing incredible work. And the options are so diverse. I’ve noticed that each family has it’s own vision which makes sense. Sarah Janisse Brown shares how her family of 15 home educate using interest-led learning. Cindy Rollins home educated using Charlotte Mason’s ideas with her family of 8 sons and 1 daughter and influenced us with her Morning Time. Durenda Wilson had 8 children she home educated using her unhurried style. I’ve learned so much from each of these families and we are able to implement waht works for our unique family. I’d say the biggest piece in common between us all is the dependence on God for direction and His loving favor.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. Still haven’t finished a book. That’s ok. I keep these two before me and dip in when I have a chance.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. My personal morning time of prayer/journaling/reading the Word are the anchors to my day. Without this, really none of the other habits matter. Prayer is so powerful. I see people coming to the Lord in droves now to pray and seek Him above all else! So amazing to see the Holy Spirit working so visibly. Keeping up the spending log seems natural now. I’m working on reining in the time by being more intentional. My to-do list is growing! I’ve put some things on the back burner, partly because of my emotions and also partly because of house repairs that recently surfaced. The new dishwasher works extremely well so that is a big win! The kids were getting pretty tired of having to hand wash every dish, pot, cup, and spoon (First World Problems!).

I pray we live in light of the Good News today. We will set our minds on what really matters. Much joy and peace to you.

Accountability Week 4, Day2

Colossians 1:⁶ This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace.⁷ You learned about the Good News from Epaphras, our beloved co-worker. He is Christ’s faithful servant, and he is helping us on your behalf. ⁸ He has told us about the love for others that the Holy Spirit has given you.

Rachel and I are planning on making another vlog this week. Some of the topics include What is the Good News, Identity, Educational Philosophy, Emotional Health, Friendships, and Current Interests. I hope some of those conversations will be helpful. And since our conversations are unscripted I’m excited to see what suprises might surface up when we delve into them. I also do not edit the videos so it is what it is: Raw. Unfiltered. Honest. I hope. Our channel is on Youtube at Kim Huitt.

Woke up bright and early this morning at 6:00 but it is already 8:20. I noticed in my reading/journaling time my brain seemed all scrambled so I prayed for clarity. I also had to pray to stop pushing for topiocs and something to talk about on the vlog but just show up as usual to hear what the Lord was telling me this morning. Praise the Lord our time together is not hinged on my efforts but the inner working of the Spirit.

The 31-Day Challenge is on its home stretch.

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. I had a powerfully cleansing cry on my walk around the lake with our corgi yesterday. Ultimate Christian Communicators is hosting a 31-day Challenge and Gina Parris was ministering to us. Just started to brush away my tears when I ended up walking next to a sweet teen girl who was out with her labradoodle. She called to me from across the street to ask me if I went to church anywhere. Amazing question from a teen! Turns out she homeschools as well through IDEA Homeschool. I’m hoping one day her mom (think she said her mom is Cassandra?) and I might cross paths and our daughters can meet each other since she is interested in music and traveling to Italy this May! I shared with her how we are going to England in April. Of all things. Rachel wishes for a friend to live nearby. Oh don’t we wish for our children’s wishes.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. Well, this area is slow going. I’m busy with this challenge and the new projects from it. But believe me I’m still working away on it. I’m sure some of the topics will come out in the vlog.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Trying to stay focused on the small habit of doing the next right thing. Each adjustment recalibrates and I would really like my trajectory to be instilling good habits in myself and modeling it for my children. The budget may be quite “blown” this month with a boiler repair, a new dishwasher, etc. but it’s in the budget to save up for those types of things so it’s okay. We will just keep building our menus and staying on target with other areas of spending. Oh and this is my husband’s birthday month so we have to surprise him with something! Looks like skiing is supposed to be good this weekend. (wink, wink – I wonder if he reads my blog?)

Praying for continued healing and empowerment of the Spirit. Time to get going!

Accountability Week 3, Day 3

If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. Jeremiah 29:13

And so the Lord says,
   “These people say they are mine.
They honor me with their lips
   but their hearts are far from me.
And their worship of me
    is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote. (Isaiah 29:13)
The humble will be filled with fresh joy from the Lord.
    The poor will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel. (vs 19)
For when they see their many children
    and all the blessings I have given them,
they will recognize the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob.
    They will stand in awe of the God of Israel.
 Then the wayward will gain understanding,
    and complainers will accept instruction. (vs 23, 24)

I actually rolled out of bed at 6:00 today. It helped that I went to bed at a decent hour last night. Note to self – go to bed at a decent time each night. It’s already 7:30 as I’m working on this post so I had a wonderfully relaxed prayer/journaling time this quiet morning.

So onto the 31-day challenge update:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Jennie Allen just released a new book “Get Out of Your Head” – yes, I purchased it but it’s on my stack for reading next month (tee hee) – and her message is to take charge of your thoughts and bring them all under the truth of Jesus. Amen sister! Amazing how the Holy Spirit is moving with a similar song throughout the body of Christ. Just yesterday I had a moment of courage and reached out to the parents of the basketball team to see if anyone was interested in praying for our athletes. We meet today before practice. Praise God! Yesterday evening another parent sent out a message that he is making t-shirts for the two Christian teams to wear during homecoming which also reflects the message of enjoying sports but embracing our unity as the Body of Christ! Praise God! Initially I was hesitant about asking parents to come together to pray for unity when I see in my own life a rift with a family member – as though I have to be wholly put together in order to minister peace. Well thank the Lord He is our peace and it’s not up to me. Jesus is leading us into a time of prayer, humility, and trust. Thank you Lord!
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. Well I’m apparently still collecting books but I am determined to stay focused and finish the two I’m needing to learn from right now which are “Boundaries” and “Trying Softer”.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. By this time in the past I would have given up because I might see some overspending in the grocery department. But no matter, I’m still logging it and taking inventory of what we can use and only purchasing what we truly need for the remainder of this month. And the menu plan – that’s something I’m still tapping away at – meaning, I don’t really have one this week yet but I should do it soon. Last night I ran to Costco for a few easy meals. At least we are not eating out as much. Progress!

I hope you’re seeing progress in your habit formation this month. And it is never too late to step into this challenge and form your own set of boundaries in whatever area you’re feeling out of sorts. It is so worth showing up and making the little steps each day! I’m loving it! And I’m feeling free of trying to do it perfectly. That has made all the difference.

Time to get some breakfast going. It’s going to be another busy day. Expecting to see God’s hand at work through it all.

Picture books with our corgi – two of our favorite things about home educating.
Eating all day is probably another favorite.

Accountability Week 3, Day 2

9 O God, we meditate on your unfailing love
    as we worship in your Temple.
10 As your name deserves, O God,
    you will be praised to the ends of the earth.
    Your strong right hand is filled with victory.
11 Let the people on Mount Zion rejoice.
    Let all the towns of Judah be glad
    because of your justice.
12 Go, inspect the city of Jerusalem.[b]
    Walk around and count the many towers.
13 Take note of the fortified walls,
    and tour all the citadels,
that you may describe them
    to future generations.
14 For that is what God is like.
    He is our God forever and ever,
    and he will guide us until we die.
Psalm 48:9-14

My teen son plays basketball for the Christian school that my husband and I graduated from many, many moons ago. On his uniform is the cross. Oh this gets me. He is wearing a cross on his uniform! I pray that he comes to understand deeply the significance of this cross, and to all those who see him wearing this symbol. My heart has been wrecked thinking that the players at this school will talk trash with the players from the other Christian school in town. Oh Lord, where did our children pick up on this behavior? I’m not saying that he has, they have not even played their first game together. But, I’ve heard of the years and years of this rivalry.  My prayer is that these teens will overflow with the love of Christ and simply enjoy the fun of competition.  Let there be unity in the churches. Let the parents come together and support the teens from both schools and encourage them to enjoy being young and strong enough to throw their whole selves into the game.  I pray that any pride or hostility will be silenced. I pray for humble spirits that night. May the world see us by our love. The parents, coaches, leaders, players – let us all simply enjoy the game and each other.

Whew! Praise God I’m feeling some excitement this morning.  Maybe it’s the power of the sunrise. Twilight was at 8:34 a.m. today! We are gaining daylight! So looking forward to sun up at 4:30 a.m. in the summer. That’s the time of year I love to go on early morning walks. It’s coming! And I believe that revival is coming to our children. If it has to skip over the adults, so be it – but let it reach the children. Let them see the Glory of God and be touched by his life-giving Spirit.

So onto the three focus points for the 31-day challenge:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. I continue to sense breakthroughs in this area. When I would have wanted to force changes and smooth everything over I’m feeling less anxious and trusting God with his timing and outcome. “Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. Well, um, this area is starting to slip. I now am working on 4 books – “Boundaries”, “Trying Softer”, “Persuasion”, and “Range”. But I’m making progress and creating landing sheets in my yournals for all I’m learning. And really a lot of this is to model for my children how to keep learning and pressing in our whole lives. I’m sure I seem ancient to them, but we are never too old to learn.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. It seems my spending plans with money is going better than my budget with time. However, there have been some unexpected bumps in the road as life always seems to present. That is fine because I’m learning to keep going and not expect perfection from my list or intentions. Making daily progress and building good habits is the ultimate goal.

So now it’s time to dig into breakfast and morning time. I pray that we will be sensitive to Father’s leading and watch this day for his nudges and invitations.

My heart has heard you say, ‘Come and talk with me, and my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.”

Accountability Week 3, Day 1

Our teen has a hurt leg so we are going to the chriproactor this morning. Rachel has a sore throat and feels very tired. Lizzy has a stomach bug. BUT! I’m still here! Definitely later than I intended for today, but I’m here, making progress without requiring perfection with the challenges for the month.

Rolled out of bed later than I wanted today (7 a.m.) but I was up with lizzy a bit last night with her stomach bug. Gave her probiotics, homeopathics, lavender oil on the tummy, lots of liquids, love and care. Hopefully she gets better very soon. She is a very sweet patient.

And in light of all the shocking and sobering news going on in the world, I took some time to reassess the importance of this 31-day challenge. Am I really focusing on what is most important? I’d say the most important is prayer, and this challenge is helping me to declutter things that are not lasting. So with that said, I’m happy to keep pressing into the new year by making these good habits.

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Met with Dr. Brock on Friday and left with an “A” for effort and now I’ve received permission to make mistakes. Perfectionism is pernicious and trying to live under pretense is exhausting, isn’t it? I’ve lost some dear friends over it. Such an emotionally expensive coping mechanism.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. I’ve also added Persuasion because I need a fictional diversion. But oops! Got distracted again with the book “Range” by David Epstein. But since I’m allowed to “make mistakes” I’ll add this book to my list of reading. (Provocative, rigorous, and engrossing, Range makes a compelling case for actively cultivating inefficiency. Failing a test is the best way to learn. Frequent quitters end up with the most fulfilling careers. The most impactful inventors cross domains rather than deepening their knowledge in a single area. As experts silo themselves further while computers master more of the skills once reserved for highly focused humans, people who think broadly and embrace diverse experiences and perspectives will increasingly thrive.)
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. At least this area seems to be chugging along well. Each night I’ve taken my receipts and logged them into the journal. It appears we are doing well with staying on target. One more week of intentional menu creation and grocery shopping should feel quite satisfying, so that keeps me going.

And because today everyone seems to be under the weather, we are watching “The King and I” for our morning time. Normally we read through some Scipture in the OT and NT, Plutarch, Shakespeare, poetry, artist/composer study, memory work, and grammar. But today we will relax and giggle more than usual.

Psalm 27:7-14

⁷ Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice,
And be gracious to me and answer me.
⁸ When You said, “Seek My face,” my heart said to You,
“Your face, O Lord, I shall seek.”
⁹ Do not hide Your face from me,
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not abandon me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation!
¹⁰ For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
But the Lord will take me up.

¹¹ Teach me Your way, O Lord,
And lead me in a level path
Because ofm y foes.
¹² Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries,
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
¹³ I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
¹⁴ Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

Accountability Week 2, Day 5

University Lake. Taken at 4:32 p.m. #nofilter

The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.

    The world and all its people belong to him.

For he laid the earth’s foundation on the seas

    and built it on the ocean depths.

Who may climb the mountain of the Lord?

    Who may stand in his holy place?

Only those whose hands and hearts are pure,

    who do not worship idols

    and never tell lies.

They will receive the Lord’s blessing

    and have a right relationship with God their Savior.

Such people may seek you

    and worship in your presence, O God of Jacob.

Psalm 24:1-6

“Having a right relationship with God their Savior”…that is my prayer for us, our children, our communities, our world. We are His and everything on the earth. This upward focus can lead to a right relationship with our Father and our fellow man. When I know that my children are His, I will esteem them better. When I think about the postal worker who was so rude to our family in light of God’s position, I look at him with compassion. When I think about God’s tender mercies toward every human and creature of this world, I can see His heart that draws all to himself through kindness because He is Love. And love has boundaries. The oceans have boundaries. The earth’s foundations have boundaries. Our atmosphere has boundaries. How does that tie into a God who has no limits? I’m not sure, but I’m keenly aware that He set limits for our benefit.

Again, we went to bed pretty late last night as we were hosting a home group meeting. I’m so happy about these relationships we have been building. It’s been my prayer that we would all have a community of Jesus-loving followers to encourage along the way, like Brother Andrew did while he was being called into ministry by God to share His word behind the iron curtain. I don’t know where my children will go or where we will be after this home educating adventure is over. But wherever they are called, I pray for close friends to help them along the way.

This morning I didn’t wake up until 8:45. I could make excuses like – Lizzy woke up several times last night from bad dreams, we all went to bed around 1 a.m., Fridays are a slower day for us and Gregg has the day off, everyone is tired. But, I won’t let it stop me from doing the next thing which was to get dressed and pray/journal. So hooray, we did it!

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Meeting with Dr. Brock today and we will see where the Spirit leads in the conversation. Having a counselor who says he is not smart enough to figure this all out but inviting the Spirit to lead and show us what lies we are believing is amazing. God really does speak to us. Certainly God speaks to me on my own as well but having another person who is separate from the emotions of the situations helps with clarity.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. Today is the 24th and I’m only a quarter of the way through each book. I’ve been taking my time note taking and letting things sink in as I read. So if I’m not finished this month I’ll just keep going. No pressure to perform here, just leaning into the insights.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Yes! This is going well! It feels so good to see how this year is going in this area. I think using a paper journal has helped me alot. For some reason using a computer software program or excel seemed more tedious so I wouldn’t do it for a week and then felt overwhelmed trying to in put a week’s worth of data. Oh First-World problems! Ha!

Well that is it for today’s blog. It’s later than I care to admit, but I’m thankful for the progress and encouragement to keep going. Morning times on Fridays are different and less intensive. We take the day to watch an episode of “Drive Through History” and we are going through The Gospels. These videos are very engaging, rich in history and the arts.

Keep a goin!

Accountability Week 2, Day 4

(Colossians 3:12 – 13) Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 4:16 – 17) After you read this letter, pass it onto the church at Laodicea so they can read it, too. And say to Archippus, “Be sure to carry out the ministry the Lord gave you”.

Being reminded again and again to be tender and forgive. We are reminded who God is, that Christ is in us, and that we have this common language of healing woven throughout our whole history as people on this planet. We all have our unique calling and ministry to carry out. Read the letters, share the messages, set our sights on the realities of heaven where Christ sits at God’s right hand.

As a parent, I can get bombarded with varying and conflicting suggestions on the optimum way to rear children – free range, classical, Charlotte Mason, private, public, co-ops. Each of these styles seem to focus either exclusively on the child or the teacher/author. But ultimately it comes down to each child realizing they are here for a purpose. God has fashioned them with unique gifts and bends. Let us find our reason and purpose in Him and loving others. Let the word of the Lord ring out from us to people everywhere. We are looking forward to the coming of God’s Son from heaven – Jesus, whom God raised from the dead. We can pray for this, press into this, trust God for this for ourselves, our children, and our world.

This desire has urged me onto the step up to the 31-day challenge. I was up at 6:40 which is a bit later than I had planned, which in the past would have derailed me, but I got up and started in on the rhythms of the day. Got dressed. Lit some candles. Prayed and journaled for the first early hour of the day. Tried not to get lost in the vortex of the internet. No perfection needed, just stepping in with tenderness. Focusing on these three areas are hopefully helping me to align my values with my actions:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. This ties in closely with my second challenge of reading two books. “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber are turning my world upside down. I really had no idea that I was living life so backward for so many years. Being honest with myself and being myself was suppressed because of fear. “But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” (Eph. 5:13 – 14) I can really say that I’ve suppressed living because of fear of failure or rejection that I’ve felt dead. It’s time to wake up and come alive.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. I’m still reading through those books but also slid in “Persuasion” as well to add fiction and delight.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Well, so far so good. I cannot believe it is January 23 and I’m still using the budget and still on target. So many years have passed where I just dropped off doing this about week two because I felt that if I didn’t do it exactly right then I’d failed and so I would quit. Holding onto perfection, hiding away when all things seem to fall apart, expecting too much of myself or others – these are habits that need to go. Starting up new healthy habits is startling. Which reminds me, I need to add “drink 75 oz water a day.”

Wow, this was longer than I expected to go today. It’s already 8:00 a.m. so time to get going on the day. How is your 31-day challenge going? It’s never to late to join in.

Accountability Week 2, Day 3

So this morning when I finally rolled out of bed at 7:00 – an hour later than I planned but it was a late night. Sitting down at my table with the candles flickering, I felt compelled to read from Isaiah again. Flipped open to Isaiah 40:28 – 31. “God never grows weak or weary, He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless, trusting in Him will give new strength.” Jesus spoke words very similar to Isaiah in Matthew 11:28 – 30. “Come to me all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. I AM humble and gentle at heart.”

Since today is January 22, I read from Psalm 22. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” This cry for help culminates in David declaring that “even future generations will head about the wonder of the Lord and His rightenous acts will be told to those not yet born.” Psalm 23 follows and reassures the psalmist of the previous chapter that “The Lord is our sphepherd and we have all that we need.” Jesus spoke the first lines of those psalms at his death. All those in the area who heard him would have known those two son

I love seeing that golden thread woven through thousands of years showing that suffering can lead us to trust in God. These words were spoken by Isaiah, David, Jesus and now flowing through me, then through my children, and someday through their children. These words of praise and trust are an inheritance, a treasure. This rich history reminds us to Trust in The One who made this universe or time and space. Relax into “Tenderness”.

Working on the 31-day challenge and here is the progress:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Meeting with Dr. Brock this Friday. On a day-to-day basis, I’m recognizing my anger and the need to let some things go. Trying to live a life of “nice little box with a pretty little bow on top” isn’t serving me well. It’s actually an idol. Instead of worshiping Jesus I can end up worshiping peace and calm and flip out when life is not feeling tidied up.

2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 20 and never finishing a book. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud. These are amazing books. There are also YouTube videos with Dr. Cloud speaking about boundaries. Got a little side tracked – I also picked up reading “Persuasion” by Jane Austin but I also wanted to add some fiction into my life. Reading only non-fiction can make me way too cerebral and not connect to imagination and whimsey.

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Surprisingly, this area of my life is actually the easiest part of the challenge this month. Maybe because it’s something quite tangible that can give me a sense of control. When I’m stressed or sad I retreat to cleaning and organizing. So keeping a budget and working plans feels comforting to me right now.

Well it’s about time to start breakfast and get this day going. I hope your intentions are helping to lighten your load from heavy distractions and misplaced focus. It’s already the 22nd and it feels good to see progress in 2020!

Accountability Week 2, Day 2

Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness and honor.

Proverbs 21:21

Today is January 21 so I was reading in Proverbs 21. Verse 21 spoke loudly to me so I guess today is the day of 21!

I woke up at 6 a.m., prayer and journaled in the dark of the morning, inspired by candles and hot tea and now some soaking music is awakening the house.

So let’s jump into my three top priorities for this 31-day challenge:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. I’m so thankful this year’s word is “Tenderness”. My usual method of dealing with hard things in life was to create a hard outer shell. Well now I’m being reminded to stay tender and soft. Trust God with my heart and emotions. By the way, made another appointment with my counselor. Good things happen in counseling. I have some new things to cast off and pray through.

2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 20 and never finishing a book. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud. Again, these books come at an amazing time. When difficult situations come up with other people’s demands of me I was living out of fear of losing love, fear of someone’s anger, fear of loneliness, fear of not being accepted. That is not love. Love is being honest and setting healthy boundaries. Love is also trusting in the only One who brings true Freedom and that is in Christ. Anyone who expects me to keep them happy will be sadly disappointed (and vice versa). And that has happened many times. It used to rip me to shreds and make me think that I was not enough, bad, unworthy. But I’m learning that is putting expectations in the wrong place. I’ve allowed myself to hide for too long. I can actually be honest and fully present and don’t need to fear being abandoned. Because I never will be abandoned. You will never be abandoned. God is love and He is with us.

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. I’ve been recording our expenses each night which actually feels amazing. When I’m tempted with lazy or procrastinating feelings I just recognize it and tell it “No” and go do it! What a relief. As for grocery shopping, it’s been very busy and eratic around here with unexpected visits and holidays. I do have a menu and stop at the store to grab only what is needed for those meals. But I’ve yet to make one big haul for the week. But at least we have a plan and I’m sticking with it. Not having to think about the plan is half the battle. I think I’ll need to go Wednesday night for a thorough grocery visit because tonight the family will be at a basketball game and I’m at CPC.

So there we go! Into the third week of January and actually sticking to some rhythms and habits that I really want to take root this year. Hope you’re January is off to a good start. It’s never too late to start. You can start right now! What habits are you planting?

Accountability Week 2, Day 1

So this weekend was painful. Emotional wreckage is what I’m talking about. It started with a trip to the post office for passports and then climaxed with a phone call to a family member. Searing. Surprising. Ouch.

Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.

Proverbs 20:22

I think it’s funny that I’m still referring to Proverbs after I shared with the kids this Sunday about Solomon’s short-lived wisdom. Amazingly, before many lessons I listen to Ravi Zacharius and he has something profound to say on the topic of the Sunday lesson. So I shared with the K – 5 grades how the life of Solomon contrasts vividly with the life of William Wilberforce. Solomon squandered his life on distractions whereas the diminutive William used his life to stop slave trade. Amazing. So I’ll still refer to the words of Solomon but pray that our lives reflect more the actions of William.

And that is exactly what I saw playing out this weekend with the trials that came into our lives. We may know the Truth, but do we walk in it? Is the Truth simply swimming around in our heads or did it sink it’s way down into the roots of our soul and heart? I’m so thankful that God brought into my life the book “Boundaries”. He knew what was coming.

Ears to hear and eyes to see – both are gifts from the Lord.

Proverbs 20:12

I’m so excited that today is Martin Luther King, Jr.’s day of remembrance. Not suprising the Lord had me share about William WIlberforce and slavery yesterday. How amazing is His timing? We will watch Dr. King’s speech again today and be inspired by his words. And most importantly we will be inspired to walk in The Way by bringing freedom to all captives, and even captive places within our own hearts.

So onto today’s schedule. I woke up a little later than planned – 7:30. Had my prayer/journaling time and read through Psalm 20 and Proverbs 20 since today in January 20. On our agenda today is morning time, the Paino Man is coming to tune our piano, and the girls are going to a sign language class today.

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. After this weekend’s events I’m more raw then ever, and this situations did not only affect me but my sweet children. With this new testing and suffering, I have the choice to remain tender and open or withdraw into a hardened shell. My prayer has been that we will be like Hananiah (Yah is gracious), Mishael (Who is what El is), and Azariah (Yah has helped) who did not even smell of smoke when they were brought out of the fiery furnace.

2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 20 and never finishing a book. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud. I’m continually grateful for these books in this time of my life. It is truly divine timing.

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Well, um, I need to work on logging some expenses over the weekend but we did create a menu plan for the week. Today I’ll stop by the grocery store.

Time to get going. I pray that you are finding the will to show up each new day, no matter the trials, and trust God for the outcome. I have to admit I’ve been trying to make excuses why I’m too hurt and sad to keep pressing into this month’s challenge, but look, here it is and I’m still showing up. You can too.