Time Travel

If I could go back in time and leave myself the following points on how to enjoy my children and this home education journey, I think I could have saved myself many tears, moments of frustration, outbursts of anger, and sleepless nights. But knowing my nature, I supposed I had to walk the rocky path to unearth these universal truths. I’m sharing these points in hopes that others can benefit from my experience and failures. My first child, born 16 years ago, experienced mad/anxious/image-driven mom. My last born had a few glimpses of this mom, but mostly she has experienced a mom who lives in peace – because I now choose peace. So now I’m going to take a moment to talk to my 30-some-year-old self. Please listen in as I touch on the what, why, and how of our home education transformation.

1. Think about your educational philosophy. If you believe that man is a living soul created in the image of God, then that will naturally spill over into how you intereact with your children and what materials you bring into your home.

To think more deeply and contemplate your educational philosophy, read Charlotte Mason’s writings from her books “Home Education” and “Philosophy of Education”. At the core of her writings is the universal truth that Children are Born Persons and Education is the Science of Relations.

2. Ask yourself why you care so much about the success of this educational experience. How much glory do you image taking away when this experiment culminates on graduation day? Your children are not an extension of you nor are they going to be a copy of you. Work to understand them and see their unique gifts. Can you keep in mind that these children are not your possessions to craft into idols? Who do you choose to worship? Your dreams? Your kingdom? Or your Lord?

3. Character training is fundamental. Actually, your character training is fundamental. It is through example that they learn. And to teach children to love what is good, true, and beautiful is to point them to Christ and His truth and grace. So again, first point your heart to Christ. Spend time sitting with Him each morning. Pray. Trust in His provision. Trust He is also leading your children’s hearts.

4. Your love and unconditional acceptance of your children will open heart doors. Harsh and judgmental attitudes from you will slam those heart doors shut. Read the book “Christy” and see how this young teacher reached the heart of Mountie O’Teale.

“Perhaps what she needed most was of all was to be sure that she was a real person, that someone loved her for herself….with every bit of encouragement Mountie received, each time I could tell her that she was doing better, she would try even harder. Teacher cared about her. Teacher loved her.” (Christy, by Catherine Marshall, page 154.)

5. Christ came to give us life and life more abundantly. Look at your fruit and make sure you’re planting seeds of trust, kindness, and diligence. He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

I wonder if I was able to time travel back about 13 years and make those changes upfront, how much sweeter would my children’s memories could be?

I trust God.

I trust His timing.

I trust His redemption.

• 

Accountability Week 4, Day 3

Psalm 33:¹ Let the godly sing for joy to the Lord;
    it is fitting for the pure to praise him.
² Praise the Lord with melodies on the lyre;
    make music for him on the ten-stringed harp.
³ Sing a new song of praise to him;
    play skillfully on the harp, and sing with joy.
⁴ For the word of the Lord holds true,
    and we can trust everything he does.
⁵ He loves whatever is just and good;
    the unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth.

⁶ The Lord merely spoke,
    and the heavens were created.
He breathed the word,
    and all the stars were born.
⁷ He assigned the sea its boundaries
    and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs.
⁸ Let the whole world fear the Lord,
    and let everyone stand in awe of him.
⁹ For when he spoke, the world began!
    It appeared at his command.

Have you ever watched a video that shows you the perspective of flying away from earth to the outer reaches of our known universe. Those images leave me in wonder and all my worries melt away. If our Father created all this by speaking, why should I worry. Yet many days I send my throat constricted and my chest feels weighed down. There are some relationships in this life that feel very broken. “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” All through my life I’ve seen His working together. So when I’m feeling like crying or anxiously weighed down by what doesn’t feel “right”, I soak in The Truth of His unfailing Love.

Just a couple days away from this 31-day challenge and I’m thrilled to see some progress.

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Lizzy and I posted a new vlog on Youtube at Kim Huitt. We talk about working together through our days. We both have desires and expectations of course. It’s challenging when those desires seem to be at odds. I’m so thrilled we can share a bit of our story. There are so many inspiring homeschooling families who are doing incredible work. And the options are so diverse. I’ve noticed that each family has it’s own vision which makes sense. Sarah Janisse Brown shares how her family of 15 home educate using interest-led learning. Cindy Rollins home educated using Charlotte Mason’s ideas with her family of 8 sons and 1 daughter and influenced us with her Morning Time. Durenda Wilson had 8 children she home educated using her unhurried style. I’ve learned so much from each of these families and we are able to implement waht works for our unique family. I’d say the biggest piece in common between us all is the dependence on God for direction and His loving favor.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. Still haven’t finished a book. That’s ok. I keep these two before me and dip in when I have a chance.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. My personal morning time of prayer/journaling/reading the Word are the anchors to my day. Without this, really none of the other habits matter. Prayer is so powerful. I see people coming to the Lord in droves now to pray and seek Him above all else! So amazing to see the Holy Spirit working so visibly. Keeping up the spending log seems natural now. I’m working on reining in the time by being more intentional. My to-do list is growing! I’ve put some things on the back burner, partly because of my emotions and also partly because of house repairs that recently surfaced. The new dishwasher works extremely well so that is a big win! The kids were getting pretty tired of having to hand wash every dish, pot, cup, and spoon (First World Problems!).

I pray we live in light of the Good News today. We will set our minds on what really matters. Much joy and peace to you.

Accountability Week 4, Day2

Colossians 1:⁶ This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace.⁷ You learned about the Good News from Epaphras, our beloved co-worker. He is Christ’s faithful servant, and he is helping us on your behalf. ⁸ He has told us about the love for others that the Holy Spirit has given you.

Rachel and I are planning on making another vlog this week. Some of the topics include What is the Good News, Identity, Educational Philosophy, Emotional Health, Friendships, and Current Interests. I hope some of those conversations will be helpful. And since our conversations are unscripted I’m excited to see what suprises might surface up when we delve into them. I also do not edit the videos so it is what it is: Raw. Unfiltered. Honest. I hope. Our channel is on Youtube at Kim Huitt.

Woke up bright and early this morning at 6:00 but it is already 8:20. I noticed in my reading/journaling time my brain seemed all scrambled so I prayed for clarity. I also had to pray to stop pushing for topiocs and something to talk about on the vlog but just show up as usual to hear what the Lord was telling me this morning. Praise the Lord our time together is not hinged on my efforts but the inner working of the Spirit.

The 31-Day Challenge is on its home stretch.

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. I had a powerfully cleansing cry on my walk around the lake with our corgi yesterday. Ultimate Christian Communicators is hosting a 31-day Challenge and Gina Parris was ministering to us. Just started to brush away my tears when I ended up walking next to a sweet teen girl who was out with her labradoodle. She called to me from across the street to ask me if I went to church anywhere. Amazing question from a teen! Turns out she homeschools as well through IDEA Homeschool. I’m hoping one day her mom (think she said her mom is Cassandra?) and I might cross paths and our daughters can meet each other since she is interested in music and traveling to Italy this May! I shared with her how we are going to England in April. Of all things. Rachel wishes for a friend to live nearby. Oh don’t we wish for our children’s wishes.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. Well, this area is slow going. I’m busy with this challenge and the new projects from it. But believe me I’m still working away on it. I’m sure some of the topics will come out in the vlog.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Trying to stay focused on the small habit of doing the next right thing. Each adjustment recalibrates and I would really like my trajectory to be instilling good habits in myself and modeling it for my children. The budget may be quite “blown” this month with a boiler repair, a new dishwasher, etc. but it’s in the budget to save up for those types of things so it’s okay. We will just keep building our menus and staying on target with other areas of spending. Oh and this is my husband’s birthday month so we have to surprise him with something! Looks like skiing is supposed to be good this weekend. (wink, wink – I wonder if he reads my blog?)

Praying for continued healing and empowerment of the Spirit. Time to get going!

Accountability Week 3 – Day 4

Philippians 1:9-11 I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation – the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ – for this will bring much glory and praise to God.

Luke 24:45, 46b – 49 Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures. “There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent. You are witnesses of all these things. And now I will send the Holy Spirit, just as my Father promised. But stay in the city until the Holy Spirit comes and fills you with power from heaven.”

I think the number one most important habit that has changed my life is daily reading/journaling through the scriptures and prayer. Having a time to reflect on what really matters and who really loves me changes everything. Now I’ve seen and heard about situations where people have this practice but come out of their prayer closet in an angry mood. That has happened to me. It’s as though I was praying to me, to my needs, to my desires instead of listening to what the Spirit was leading. Coming to the Father without a laundry list of to dos but simply to spend time with Him helps me to not come out of the morning prayer as a white-washed tomb, a selfish time bomb ready to explode on anyone who doesn’t give me what I want. Because this is not about me, but what the Spirit is leading.

So this morning I woke up at 7:20 which is a bit later than I expected – which is to be expected because I went to bed late. Think I told myself earlier this week to get to bed at a decent time? Suppose I should set a clock with bed and wake hours? Maybe.

As for the 31-day challenge goals:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Met with a wonderful mom last night to pray for the teens in our school, the coaches, and the other players. She has such a sweet spirit and we are going to look for each other at the games and try to reach out to other parents who also want to see some healthy changes in the basketball venue for the Christian schools.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. Listened to “Range” yesterday. “Learning is best done slowly to accumulate lasting knowledge, even if it means performing poorly on tests that monitor progress. The best learning looks inefficient – like falling behind.” Well then we are doing fabulous!!! Ha!  I also read some more from “Boundaries” and it is actually so humbling and empowering at the same time. This is a must read for Everybody.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Only two days left in January and I’m so happy with the progress made. Learning to simply show up, not expecting perfection, just take the next step is empowering. This lesson spills over into every area of life really. As for money, I’ve been logging our expenses each day. This seems to be a system that really works for me. Using an inexpensive 6-column columnar pad allows me to enter the top 6 spending areas where we want to create more discipline (groceries, dining out, entertainment, children’s personal items, fuel, and our personal items). I write the total monthly budget for each area at the top and have plenty of lines to make the daily entries.  I just tally up twice a month. Wish I would have started this YEARS ago! But now is better than never.

Well onto our day! Our son has a home basketball game today so he gets to dress up in a suit when he gets to school. Tomorrow is the game with the other Christian school. Praying for God’s leading and presence to be evident there. He has laid this on our hearts to pray for the basketball teams and we have. We continue expecting great works from Him. Fun times!

Alan is #15

Accountability Week 3, Day 3

If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. Jeremiah 29:13

And so the Lord says,
   “These people say they are mine.
They honor me with their lips
   but their hearts are far from me.
And their worship of me
    is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote. (Isaiah 29:13)
The humble will be filled with fresh joy from the Lord.
    The poor will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel. (vs 19)
For when they see their many children
    and all the blessings I have given them,
they will recognize the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob.
    They will stand in awe of the God of Israel.
 Then the wayward will gain understanding,
    and complainers will accept instruction. (vs 23, 24)

I actually rolled out of bed at 6:00 today. It helped that I went to bed at a decent hour last night. Note to self – go to bed at a decent time each night. It’s already 7:30 as I’m working on this post so I had a wonderfully relaxed prayer/journaling time this quiet morning.

So onto the 31-day challenge update:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Jennie Allen just released a new book “Get Out of Your Head” – yes, I purchased it but it’s on my stack for reading next month (tee hee) – and her message is to take charge of your thoughts and bring them all under the truth of Jesus. Amen sister! Amazing how the Holy Spirit is moving with a similar song throughout the body of Christ. Just yesterday I had a moment of courage and reached out to the parents of the basketball team to see if anyone was interested in praying for our athletes. We meet today before practice. Praise God! Yesterday evening another parent sent out a message that he is making t-shirts for the two Christian teams to wear during homecoming which also reflects the message of enjoying sports but embracing our unity as the Body of Christ! Praise God! Initially I was hesitant about asking parents to come together to pray for unity when I see in my own life a rift with a family member – as though I have to be wholly put together in order to minister peace. Well thank the Lord He is our peace and it’s not up to me. Jesus is leading us into a time of prayer, humility, and trust. Thank you Lord!
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. Well I’m apparently still collecting books but I am determined to stay focused and finish the two I’m needing to learn from right now which are “Boundaries” and “Trying Softer”.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. By this time in the past I would have given up because I might see some overspending in the grocery department. But no matter, I’m still logging it and taking inventory of what we can use and only purchasing what we truly need for the remainder of this month. And the menu plan – that’s something I’m still tapping away at – meaning, I don’t really have one this week yet but I should do it soon. Last night I ran to Costco for a few easy meals. At least we are not eating out as much. Progress!

I hope you’re seeing progress in your habit formation this month. And it is never too late to step into this challenge and form your own set of boundaries in whatever area you’re feeling out of sorts. It is so worth showing up and making the little steps each day! I’m loving it! And I’m feeling free of trying to do it perfectly. That has made all the difference.

Time to get some breakfast going. It’s going to be another busy day. Expecting to see God’s hand at work through it all.

Picture books with our corgi – two of our favorite things about home educating.
Eating all day is probably another favorite.

Accountability Week 3, Day 1

Our teen has a hurt leg so we are going to the chriproactor this morning. Rachel has a sore throat and feels very tired. Lizzy has a stomach bug. BUT! I’m still here! Definitely later than I intended for today, but I’m here, making progress without requiring perfection with the challenges for the month.

Rolled out of bed later than I wanted today (7 a.m.) but I was up with lizzy a bit last night with her stomach bug. Gave her probiotics, homeopathics, lavender oil on the tummy, lots of liquids, love and care. Hopefully she gets better very soon. She is a very sweet patient.

And in light of all the shocking and sobering news going on in the world, I took some time to reassess the importance of this 31-day challenge. Am I really focusing on what is most important? I’d say the most important is prayer, and this challenge is helping me to declutter things that are not lasting. So with that said, I’m happy to keep pressing into the new year by making these good habits.

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Met with Dr. Brock on Friday and left with an “A” for effort and now I’ve received permission to make mistakes. Perfectionism is pernicious and trying to live under pretense is exhausting, isn’t it? I’ve lost some dear friends over it. Such an emotionally expensive coping mechanism.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. I’ve also added Persuasion because I need a fictional diversion. But oops! Got distracted again with the book “Range” by David Epstein. But since I’m allowed to “make mistakes” I’ll add this book to my list of reading. (Provocative, rigorous, and engrossing, Range makes a compelling case for actively cultivating inefficiency. Failing a test is the best way to learn. Frequent quitters end up with the most fulfilling careers. The most impactful inventors cross domains rather than deepening their knowledge in a single area. As experts silo themselves further while computers master more of the skills once reserved for highly focused humans, people who think broadly and embrace diverse experiences and perspectives will increasingly thrive.)
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. At least this area seems to be chugging along well. Each night I’ve taken my receipts and logged them into the journal. It appears we are doing well with staying on target. One more week of intentional menu creation and grocery shopping should feel quite satisfying, so that keeps me going.

And because today everyone seems to be under the weather, we are watching “The King and I” for our morning time. Normally we read through some Scipture in the OT and NT, Plutarch, Shakespeare, poetry, artist/composer study, memory work, and grammar. But today we will relax and giggle more than usual.

Psalm 27:7-14

⁷ Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice,
And be gracious to me and answer me.
⁸ When You said, “Seek My face,” my heart said to You,
“Your face, O Lord, I shall seek.”
⁹ Do not hide Your face from me,
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not abandon me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation!
¹⁰ For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
But the Lord will take me up.

¹¹ Teach me Your way, O Lord,
And lead me in a level path
Because ofm y foes.
¹² Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries,
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
¹³ I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
¹⁴ Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

Accountability Week 2, Day 4

(Colossians 3:12 – 13) Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 4:16 – 17) After you read this letter, pass it onto the church at Laodicea so they can read it, too. And say to Archippus, “Be sure to carry out the ministry the Lord gave you”.

Being reminded again and again to be tender and forgive. We are reminded who God is, that Christ is in us, and that we have this common language of healing woven throughout our whole history as people on this planet. We all have our unique calling and ministry to carry out. Read the letters, share the messages, set our sights on the realities of heaven where Christ sits at God’s right hand.

As a parent, I can get bombarded with varying and conflicting suggestions on the optimum way to rear children – free range, classical, Charlotte Mason, private, public, co-ops. Each of these styles seem to focus either exclusively on the child or the teacher/author. But ultimately it comes down to each child realizing they are here for a purpose. God has fashioned them with unique gifts and bends. Let us find our reason and purpose in Him and loving others. Let the word of the Lord ring out from us to people everywhere. We are looking forward to the coming of God’s Son from heaven – Jesus, whom God raised from the dead. We can pray for this, press into this, trust God for this for ourselves, our children, and our world.

This desire has urged me onto the step up to the 31-day challenge. I was up at 6:40 which is a bit later than I had planned, which in the past would have derailed me, but I got up and started in on the rhythms of the day. Got dressed. Lit some candles. Prayed and journaled for the first early hour of the day. Tried not to get lost in the vortex of the internet. No perfection needed, just stepping in with tenderness. Focusing on these three areas are hopefully helping me to align my values with my actions:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. This ties in closely with my second challenge of reading two books. “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber are turning my world upside down. I really had no idea that I was living life so backward for so many years. Being honest with myself and being myself was suppressed because of fear. “But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” (Eph. 5:13 – 14) I can really say that I’ve suppressed living because of fear of failure or rejection that I’ve felt dead. It’s time to wake up and come alive.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. I’m still reading through those books but also slid in “Persuasion” as well to add fiction and delight.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Well, so far so good. I cannot believe it is January 23 and I’m still using the budget and still on target. So many years have passed where I just dropped off doing this about week two because I felt that if I didn’t do it exactly right then I’d failed and so I would quit. Holding onto perfection, hiding away when all things seem to fall apart, expecting too much of myself or others – these are habits that need to go. Starting up new healthy habits is startling. Which reminds me, I need to add “drink 75 oz water a day.”

Wow, this was longer than I expected to go today. It’s already 8:00 a.m. so time to get going on the day. How is your 31-day challenge going? It’s never to late to join in.

Accountability Week 2, Day 3

So this morning when I finally rolled out of bed at 7:00 – an hour later than I planned but it was a late night. Sitting down at my table with the candles flickering, I felt compelled to read from Isaiah again. Flipped open to Isaiah 40:28 – 31. “God never grows weak or weary, He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless, trusting in Him will give new strength.” Jesus spoke words very similar to Isaiah in Matthew 11:28 – 30. “Come to me all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. I AM humble and gentle at heart.”

Since today is January 22, I read from Psalm 22. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” This cry for help culminates in David declaring that “even future generations will head about the wonder of the Lord and His rightenous acts will be told to those not yet born.” Psalm 23 follows and reassures the psalmist of the previous chapter that “The Lord is our sphepherd and we have all that we need.” Jesus spoke the first lines of those psalms at his death. All those in the area who heard him would have known those two son

I love seeing that golden thread woven through thousands of years showing that suffering can lead us to trust in God. These words were spoken by Isaiah, David, Jesus and now flowing through me, then through my children, and someday through their children. These words of praise and trust are an inheritance, a treasure. This rich history reminds us to Trust in The One who made this universe or time and space. Relax into “Tenderness”.

Working on the 31-day challenge and here is the progress:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Meeting with Dr. Brock this Friday. On a day-to-day basis, I’m recognizing my anger and the need to let some things go. Trying to live a life of “nice little box with a pretty little bow on top” isn’t serving me well. It’s actually an idol. Instead of worshiping Jesus I can end up worshiping peace and calm and flip out when life is not feeling tidied up.

2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 20 and never finishing a book. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud. These are amazing books. There are also YouTube videos with Dr. Cloud speaking about boundaries. Got a little side tracked – I also picked up reading “Persuasion” by Jane Austin but I also wanted to add some fiction into my life. Reading only non-fiction can make me way too cerebral and not connect to imagination and whimsey.

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Surprisingly, this area of my life is actually the easiest part of the challenge this month. Maybe because it’s something quite tangible that can give me a sense of control. When I’m stressed or sad I retreat to cleaning and organizing. So keeping a budget and working plans feels comforting to me right now.

Well it’s about time to start breakfast and get this day going. I hope your intentions are helping to lighten your load from heavy distractions and misplaced focus. It’s already the 22nd and it feels good to see progress in 2020!

Accountability in 2020

A wise woman builds her home,

but a foolish woman tears it down with

her own hands.

Proverbs 14:1

Since the beginning of the year I’ve felt nudges to start an accountability journal – a daily journal that I will post to remind myself of The Plan and the documentation of The Action. I’ve been struggling year after year with great intnetions at the beginning of the year followed by the emotional currents of: “I don’t feel like it, I’m too tired, it doesn’t really matter”. Specifically I’m working on:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries.

2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 20 and never finishing a book. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud.

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. We have had a budget for years and I imagine staying in those borders. I also have a lovely schedule of rhythms for the day but have not set down a specific time to start all those lovely rhythms. And I cannot forget to mention how I get side tracked by beautiful distractions and savoring quiet mornings alone.

So I could get all tied up trying to find the perfect format, perfect place, perfect time but that never seemed to work. So I’ll just show up as I am, here, quietly typing away but feeling a sense of “I can do this and you can too!”

In addition, I’d like to give a shout out to two women – both named Cindy – who have taken the time to mentor women across the world. So these two ladies have been obedient to pray, listen to God and trust Him with their ministries. I’m inspired by their faithfulness and joy in the Lord.

Cindy Rushton is championing a Jumpstart 2020 challenge to get women engaged with their missions in life. It’s time to step out, stretch, challenge ourselves to be fully expectant that God will dream impossible dreams for us and lead us into those paths.

Cindy Rollins is mentoring a group of women through her Patreon site and encourages us with her Saturdays with Cindy sessions as well as educational practices based on the Charlotte Mason approach. We are reading through beautiful poetry and books that help to educate the mom’s heart and mind. Cindy Rollins is also leading a group of ladies to an educational retreat in Ambleside, England in April, which miraculously and through the grace of God I will be able to attend. (God answers prayers – especially the ones He places in our hearts before we even made any plans.) My family will also be joining me and we will turn it into a European vacation. Thank you Father!

Now that I’ve procrastinated long enough, this is the part where I start to squirm – stating what I have done in alignment with the plan. (See how I love to plan but the putting into action has become sticky?)

Wake up and pray/journal: 6 a.m. (I woke up at 7 a.m.)

Start breakfast and start morning time with kids: 8:30 a.m. (It’s already 9!)

Keep a daily log of all expenditures: I’ve done this each day this month and only need to add up the columns. I tried doing this online with excel but going to paper is much eaier for me and I don’t liek the idea of putting my financialy into on a budgeting service site.

Menu plan for the week: I still need to do this and will this evening with my husband and kids.

Becoming emotionally healthy: Well this is a lifelong process but I will be calling to set up an appointment with my counselor, Dr. Brock, and will continue to read the two books on my focused list.

Whew! Well that wasn’t too painful. I think I can do this! And you can too. I wonder what you’d like to plan and take action on this month?

Here is my Vision Board for 2020. My work for the year is Tenderness.

Tree of Life

My brave husband and I are embarking on a 21-day sugar fast. For a few years I’ve been mentored by Alisha Keeton at Revelation Wellness. Hers is a fanastic ministry that blends spiriutual growth and physical movement. The podcast is a perfect walking/running/hiking/meditating companion. Well this is our 7th day on our sugar fast and I’m quickly realizing I need to find some new reciepies. Simply eating meat and some veggies is getting a little boring. I’m not craving any carbs or sugar just yet but my hubby is very tired of this bland and monotonous diet I’ve spread for us. It does not have to be so boring. I guess I’ve simply not taken the time to look up and try the delicious recipies that are available online. My reason for the 21-day fast is to take the time to ask – what is good for my body right now? And this can lead to ask deeper questions like – Holy Spirit, what are you inviting me into this day or this moment?

So with this first week of being sugar free living under our belt, I’m not taking lightly the opportunities to be encouraged from several diverse venues. While creating this blog post I was listening to a Spotify playlist titled “Top 100 of the Most Beautiful Songs from Reddit”. Moonlight Sonata was played and I remember being a young teen playing the piece with ease. I also used to be able to do the splits and front flips with ease but at 47, not so much. I spent about 30 minutes practicing the first sheet of music and after writing down some of the notes as guides on the musical staff I was able to stumble through it. But it brought me so much joy. I think I might try to add “Comptine d’un autre été: l’après-midi” which looks more like playing the harp on the piano.

As expected, this week has been filed with ups and downs. I’ve slumped into sadness, feeling as though I’m not enough and failing, to reaching for love and forgiveness and bouncing back with even more freedom. I’m not sure if that is typical for a cleansing fast but I’ve been asking for the breaking of strongholds and chains – couldn’t expect that to come easy breezy.

Last night we watched “Tree of Life” and the experience exemplifies the week of high and lows. I loved it and heard wonderful reviews for it. That said, this movie was not a cup of tea for my family (which made me feel a little disappointed that they did not love it like I did), but I was swept away by the aesthetically gripping story of a family being mangled by fear, anger, and emptiness. It spoke so deeply to me that I had a visceral reaction to the movie and experiencing a severe headache and nausea. I took a remedy of Nux Vomica and two advil (which I try not to ever use but I was hurting so badly I didnt’ want to take the time to find the right homeopathic). The father figure was so consumed by the desire to “be something” or “prove his worth” that his family, particularly his oldest son took the brunt of his fear of insignificance acted out in aggression.

Eventually the story of redemption pours out of the screen. There was amazing visualization of the vastness of the planetary universe contrasted with the enormity of the microscopic universe, which we are sandwiched in between. Throughout the movie, characters wrestle with God, asking Him “Are you there?” “Why did you allow this to happen?” “Do you see me?” “Do you care?” The family individually and collectively pursue a connection with God and seek to understand His interaction with those which they love and hold onto dreams they hold dear. I was so moved by the deep fear and passion depicted on the screen. I truly was reliving parts of my childhood and unfortunately seeing myself personified in the role of controlling father, voiceless mother, hungry-for-love son. Actually, they were all hungry for love and seeking fulfilment in their masked identify. Mercifully, my heart was put at rest and ease at the end when redemption was so clearly projected – redemption for the family, its members, and other travelers on this life-supporting speck of dirt as we spiral hurdling through space. I loved “Tree of Life.” I also have a fascination with all Biblical reverences to trees in general and any symbolism I come across is exhilarating.

Joy Clarkson who hosts the podcast “Speaking with Joy“, recommended this movie. Her resources are always so fresh and rejuvenating. I am living vicariously through this young lady’s PhD educational adventures at St. Andrews in Scotland. We will be visiting England/Scotland in April so I’m even more swept away when Joy drops a secret podcast on her Patreon that deals with living on that history-filled island. We are supporters of her Patreon because we love to see young people pursuing their purpose.

Next week I’d like to continue my conversation while sharing some resources on taking good care of our world. And because I cannot wait to share, have you seen “The Biggest Little Farm”? It is amazing and I think you will love it and be encouraged to see redemption of our dirt.

The lake where I walk our Corgi each day – rain or shine, snow or sleet.

Deuteronomy 31:8 (ESV)
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.