Accountability Week 2, Day 5

University Lake. Taken at 4:32 p.m. #nofilter

The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.

    The world and all its people belong to him.

For he laid the earth’s foundation on the seas

    and built it on the ocean depths.

Who may climb the mountain of the Lord?

    Who may stand in his holy place?

Only those whose hands and hearts are pure,

    who do not worship idols

    and never tell lies.

They will receive the Lord’s blessing

    and have a right relationship with God their Savior.

Such people may seek you

    and worship in your presence, O God of Jacob.

Psalm 24:1-6

“Having a right relationship with God their Savior”…that is my prayer for us, our children, our communities, our world. We are His and everything on the earth. This upward focus can lead to a right relationship with our Father and our fellow man. When I know that my children are His, I will esteem them better. When I think about the postal worker who was so rude to our family in light of God’s position, I look at him with compassion. When I think about God’s tender mercies toward every human and creature of this world, I can see His heart that draws all to himself through kindness because He is Love. And love has boundaries. The oceans have boundaries. The earth’s foundations have boundaries. Our atmosphere has boundaries. How does that tie into a God who has no limits? I’m not sure, but I’m keenly aware that He set limits for our benefit.

Again, we went to bed pretty late last night as we were hosting a home group meeting. I’m so happy about these relationships we have been building. It’s been my prayer that we would all have a community of Jesus-loving followers to encourage along the way, like Brother Andrew did while he was being called into ministry by God to share His word behind the iron curtain. I don’t know where my children will go or where we will be after this home educating adventure is over. But wherever they are called, I pray for close friends to help them along the way.

This morning I didn’t wake up until 8:45. I could make excuses like – Lizzy woke up several times last night from bad dreams, we all went to bed around 1 a.m., Fridays are a slower day for us and Gregg has the day off, everyone is tired. But, I won’t let it stop me from doing the next thing which was to get dressed and pray/journal. So hooray, we did it!

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Meeting with Dr. Brock today and we will see where the Spirit leads in the conversation. Having a counselor who says he is not smart enough to figure this all out but inviting the Spirit to lead and show us what lies we are believing is amazing. God really does speak to us. Certainly God speaks to me on my own as well but having another person who is separate from the emotions of the situations helps with clarity.
2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 2 and never finishing a book. Today is the 24th and I’m only a quarter of the way through each book. I’ve been taking my time note taking and letting things sink in as I read. So if I’m not finished this month I’ll just keep going. No pressure to perform here, just leaning into the insights.
3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Yes! This is going well! It feels so good to see how this year is going in this area. I think using a paper journal has helped me alot. For some reason using a computer software program or excel seemed more tedious so I wouldn’t do it for a week and then felt overwhelmed trying to in put a week’s worth of data. Oh First-World problems! Ha!

Well that is it for today’s blog. It’s later than I care to admit, but I’m thankful for the progress and encouragement to keep going. Morning times on Fridays are different and less intensive. We take the day to watch an episode of “Drive Through History” and we are going through The Gospels. These videos are very engaging, rich in history and the arts.

Keep a goin!

Accountability Week 2, Day 3

So this morning when I finally rolled out of bed at 7:00 – an hour later than I planned but it was a late night. Sitting down at my table with the candles flickering, I felt compelled to read from Isaiah again. Flipped open to Isaiah 40:28 – 31. “God never grows weak or weary, He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless, trusting in Him will give new strength.” Jesus spoke words very similar to Isaiah in Matthew 11:28 – 30. “Come to me all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. I AM humble and gentle at heart.”

Since today is January 22, I read from Psalm 22. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” This cry for help culminates in David declaring that “even future generations will head about the wonder of the Lord and His rightenous acts will be told to those not yet born.” Psalm 23 follows and reassures the psalmist of the previous chapter that “The Lord is our sphepherd and we have all that we need.” Jesus spoke the first lines of those psalms at his death. All those in the area who heard him would have known those two son

I love seeing that golden thread woven through thousands of years showing that suffering can lead us to trust in God. These words were spoken by Isaiah, David, Jesus and now flowing through me, then through my children, and someday through their children. These words of praise and trust are an inheritance, a treasure. This rich history reminds us to Trust in The One who made this universe or time and space. Relax into “Tenderness”.

Working on the 31-day challenge and here is the progress:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Meeting with Dr. Brock this Friday. On a day-to-day basis, I’m recognizing my anger and the need to let some things go. Trying to live a life of “nice little box with a pretty little bow on top” isn’t serving me well. It’s actually an idol. Instead of worshiping Jesus I can end up worshiping peace and calm and flip out when life is not feeling tidied up.

2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 20 and never finishing a book. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud. These are amazing books. There are also YouTube videos with Dr. Cloud speaking about boundaries. Got a little side tracked – I also picked up reading “Persuasion” by Jane Austin but I also wanted to add some fiction into my life. Reading only non-fiction can make me way too cerebral and not connect to imagination and whimsey.

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Surprisingly, this area of my life is actually the easiest part of the challenge this month. Maybe because it’s something quite tangible that can give me a sense of control. When I’m stressed or sad I retreat to cleaning and organizing. So keeping a budget and working plans feels comforting to me right now.

Well it’s about time to start breakfast and get this day going. I hope your intentions are helping to lighten your load from heavy distractions and misplaced focus. It’s already the 22nd and it feels good to see progress in 2020!

Accountability Week 2, Day 2

Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness and honor.

Proverbs 21:21

Today is January 21 so I was reading in Proverbs 21. Verse 21 spoke loudly to me so I guess today is the day of 21!

I woke up at 6 a.m., prayer and journaled in the dark of the morning, inspired by candles and hot tea and now some soaking music is awakening the house.

So let’s jump into my three top priorities for this 31-day challenge:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. I’m so thankful this year’s word is “Tenderness”. My usual method of dealing with hard things in life was to create a hard outer shell. Well now I’m being reminded to stay tender and soft. Trust God with my heart and emotions. By the way, made another appointment with my counselor. Good things happen in counseling. I have some new things to cast off and pray through.

2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 20 and never finishing a book. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud. Again, these books come at an amazing time. When difficult situations come up with other people’s demands of me I was living out of fear of losing love, fear of someone’s anger, fear of loneliness, fear of not being accepted. That is not love. Love is being honest and setting healthy boundaries. Love is also trusting in the only One who brings true Freedom and that is in Christ. Anyone who expects me to keep them happy will be sadly disappointed (and vice versa). And that has happened many times. It used to rip me to shreds and make me think that I was not enough, bad, unworthy. But I’m learning that is putting expectations in the wrong place. I’ve allowed myself to hide for too long. I can actually be honest and fully present and don’t need to fear being abandoned. Because I never will be abandoned. You will never be abandoned. God is love and He is with us.

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. I’ve been recording our expenses each night which actually feels amazing. When I’m tempted with lazy or procrastinating feelings I just recognize it and tell it “No” and go do it! What a relief. As for grocery shopping, it’s been very busy and eratic around here with unexpected visits and holidays. I do have a menu and stop at the store to grab only what is needed for those meals. But I’ve yet to make one big haul for the week. But at least we have a plan and I’m sticking with it. Not having to think about the plan is half the battle. I think I’ll need to go Wednesday night for a thorough grocery visit because tonight the family will be at a basketball game and I’m at CPC.

So there we go! Into the third week of January and actually sticking to some rhythms and habits that I really want to take root this year. Hope you’re January is off to a good start. It’s never too late to start. You can start right now! What habits are you planting?

Accountability Week 2, Day 1

So this weekend was painful. Emotional wreckage is what I’m talking about. It started with a trip to the post office for passports and then climaxed with a phone call to a family member. Searing. Surprising. Ouch.

Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.

Proverbs 20:22

I think it’s funny that I’m still referring to Proverbs after I shared with the kids this Sunday about Solomon’s short-lived wisdom. Amazingly, before many lessons I listen to Ravi Zacharius and he has something profound to say on the topic of the Sunday lesson. So I shared with the K – 5 grades how the life of Solomon contrasts vividly with the life of William Wilberforce. Solomon squandered his life on distractions whereas the diminutive William used his life to stop slave trade. Amazing. So I’ll still refer to the words of Solomon but pray that our lives reflect more the actions of William.

And that is exactly what I saw playing out this weekend with the trials that came into our lives. We may know the Truth, but do we walk in it? Is the Truth simply swimming around in our heads or did it sink it’s way down into the roots of our soul and heart? I’m so thankful that God brought into my life the book “Boundaries”. He knew what was coming.

Ears to hear and eyes to see – both are gifts from the Lord.

Proverbs 20:12

I’m so excited that today is Martin Luther King, Jr.’s day of remembrance. Not suprising the Lord had me share about William WIlberforce and slavery yesterday. How amazing is His timing? We will watch Dr. King’s speech again today and be inspired by his words. And most importantly we will be inspired to walk in The Way by bringing freedom to all captives, and even captive places within our own hearts.

So onto today’s schedule. I woke up a little later than planned – 7:30. Had my prayer/journaling time and read through Psalm 20 and Proverbs 20 since today in January 20. On our agenda today is morning time, the Paino Man is coming to tune our piano, and the girls are going to a sign language class today.

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. After this weekend’s events I’m more raw then ever, and this situations did not only affect me but my sweet children. With this new testing and suffering, I have the choice to remain tender and open or withdraw into a hardened shell. My prayer has been that we will be like Hananiah (Yah is gracious), Mishael (Who is what El is), and Azariah (Yah has helped) who did not even smell of smoke when they were brought out of the fiery furnace.

2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 20 and never finishing a book. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud. I’m continually grateful for these books in this time of my life. It is truly divine timing.

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Well, um, I need to work on logging some expenses over the weekend but we did create a menu plan for the week. Today I’ll stop by the grocery store.

Time to get going. I pray that you are finding the will to show up each new day, no matter the trials, and trust God for the outcome. I have to admit I’ve been trying to make excuses why I’m too hurt and sad to keep pressing into this month’s challenge, but look, here it is and I’m still showing up. You can too.

Accountability 2020 – Day 3

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (James 1:5)

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. (Proverbs 16:32)

Checking in this morning with thoughts from The Word. I’m learning to “ruleth my spirit” and go to God for His complete wisdom. And I think that learning to manage resources is huge in turning my attention toward Him and considering the big picture of being here on this planet at this point in time. So that being said, roll out of bed at 6 a.m. for an inspiring time of prayer/journaling. I started typing up this blog post at 7 a.m. I’m about to start getting ready for the day, which means reviewing my calender and creating a to do list, fixing my hair, making breakfast, etc.

As for my core values and acting on those beliefs:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. STILL need to call Dr. Brock today to set up my appointment. I don’t know why I keep procrastinating on this one – well, maybe I do know why.

2. Reading through two books a month. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud. Still reading through a few pages a day of each book. These books are so revolutionary to me. It’s as though I knew in my soul that these truths ring true but I needed to see it in writing. Amazing the power of the written word. Is this why God gave us His written word in the Bible because simply hearing it wasn’t enough? I don’t know. Just a question.

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Updated the fresh new page of the spending log last night. Went through my pockets this morning and realized I had a receipt for an item we purchased in Hawaii that I need to reimburse back to my dad! Oops! So this new system of keeping receipts and logging them in the expense journal each day is proving to be so helpful. As far as time habits – we did get off to a good start yesterday with morning time starting at around 9 a.m. But I see the need to set up a specific block of time for screen time (can become easy to be distracted with YouTube, FB, shopping, searching – how I can expect my children to have healthy habits with responsibility and free time when I do not “ruleth my spirit”?) Morning studies do include online math, foreign language, and watching a Shakespeare play but we are lookng for wisdom and the will to stay off media until our work is finished.

Still need to make that one-week menu plan and shop once a week for it all. I need to see which day of the week has the best deals at our grocery store. Buy-one-get-one-free meat day is always a huge savings for us and I think I usually see that on Monday. But again, I can’t use trying to “get it right” stop me from “getting it done”. Having any plan and doing the shopping will save me much more time and money than doing nothing and just going out to eat or ordering in.

I wonder how you are managing your time this week? Any breakthroughs or challenges you’re working through?

Picture taken my Rachel. One of the stunning sights from below freezing temps.

Got distracted looking up the definition of Hoar Frost and Rime Frost. Apparently we have Hoar Frost on our trees. Maybe? Done with today’s post at 7:30 a.m. Time to get this day rolling!

Accountability in 2020 – Day 2

Oh no! Everything I typed for the last 10 minutes vanished! Well, take 2 of day 2. This will make me be brief for sure!

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries. Going to call Dr. Brock today to set up my appointment. Along those lines I’m still reading the books mentioned below.

2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 20 and never finishing a book. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud. Several people have mentioned that they are going to be reading “Boundaries” or have just started it. Apparently the book is free on Kindle right now!

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. Last night I updated my spending log with totals for the midway point of the month. Now I have a good idea of what we have to work with for the remaninder of January.

I was up at 6 a.m. for prayer/journaling, started typing this blog at 7 a.m. and am going to get fully dressed and put together before wake up time at 8 a.m. Still need to come up with a menu plan for the rest of the week. I’ve just been using what’s in the pantry and fridge or going to Subway (wink).

As for today’s schedule, we are going to do our Chemistry 101 course video with homeschool friends, need to mail a package, pick up my son’s suit from the tailor, and grab some books from the library for my middle daughter. Since I was up so early and getting things done I think we might be able to get it all done today!

Hope your day is off to an empowering start! These verses spoke to me today. I wonder what encouraged you this morning?

I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry.
He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear
And will trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:1 – 3

Baby it’s cold outside!!!
-15F when this picture was taken last week. Now it’s up to a balmy +0F

Accountability in 2020

A wise woman builds her home,

but a foolish woman tears it down with

her own hands.

Proverbs 14:1

Since the beginning of the year I’ve felt nudges to start an accountability journal – a daily journal that I will post to remind myself of The Plan and the documentation of The Action. I’ve been struggling year after year with great intnetions at the beginning of the year followed by the emotional currents of: “I don’t feel like it, I’m too tired, it doesn’t really matter”. Specifically I’m working on:

1. Becoming emotionally healthy, holding love and tenderness in balance with boundaries.

2. Reading two books a month and not grazing over 20 and never finishing a book. This month the books are “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud.

3. Staying on target with spending plans in time and money. We have had a budget for years and I imagine staying in those borders. I also have a lovely schedule of rhythms for the day but have not set down a specific time to start all those lovely rhythms. And I cannot forget to mention how I get side tracked by beautiful distractions and savoring quiet mornings alone.

So I could get all tied up trying to find the perfect format, perfect place, perfect time but that never seemed to work. So I’ll just show up as I am, here, quietly typing away but feeling a sense of “I can do this and you can too!”

In addition, I’d like to give a shout out to two women – both named Cindy – who have taken the time to mentor women across the world. So these two ladies have been obedient to pray, listen to God and trust Him with their ministries. I’m inspired by their faithfulness and joy in the Lord.

Cindy Rushton is championing a Jumpstart 2020 challenge to get women engaged with their missions in life. It’s time to step out, stretch, challenge ourselves to be fully expectant that God will dream impossible dreams for us and lead us into those paths.

Cindy Rollins is mentoring a group of women through her Patreon site and encourages us with her Saturdays with Cindy sessions as well as educational practices based on the Charlotte Mason approach. We are reading through beautiful poetry and books that help to educate the mom’s heart and mind. Cindy Rollins is also leading a group of ladies to an educational retreat in Ambleside, England in April, which miraculously and through the grace of God I will be able to attend. (God answers prayers – especially the ones He places in our hearts before we even made any plans.) My family will also be joining me and we will turn it into a European vacation. Thank you Father!

Now that I’ve procrastinated long enough, this is the part where I start to squirm – stating what I have done in alignment with the plan. (See how I love to plan but the putting into action has become sticky?)

Wake up and pray/journal: 6 a.m. (I woke up at 7 a.m.)

Start breakfast and start morning time with kids: 8:30 a.m. (It’s already 9!)

Keep a daily log of all expenditures: I’ve done this each day this month and only need to add up the columns. I tried doing this online with excel but going to paper is much eaier for me and I don’t liek the idea of putting my financialy into on a budgeting service site.

Menu plan for the week: I still need to do this and will this evening with my husband and kids.

Becoming emotionally healthy: Well this is a lifelong process but I will be calling to set up an appointment with my counselor, Dr. Brock, and will continue to read the two books on my focused list.

Whew! Well that wasn’t too painful. I think I can do this! And you can too. I wonder what you’d like to plan and take action on this month?

Here is my Vision Board for 2020. My work for the year is Tenderness.

Tree of Life

My brave husband and I are embarking on a 21-day sugar fast. For a few years I’ve been mentored by Alisha Keeton at Revelation Wellness. Hers is a fanastic ministry that blends spiriutual growth and physical movement. The podcast is a perfect walking/running/hiking/meditating companion. Well this is our 7th day on our sugar fast and I’m quickly realizing I need to find some new reciepies. Simply eating meat and some veggies is getting a little boring. I’m not craving any carbs or sugar just yet but my hubby is very tired of this bland and monotonous diet I’ve spread for us. It does not have to be so boring. I guess I’ve simply not taken the time to look up and try the delicious recipies that are available online. My reason for the 21-day fast is to take the time to ask – what is good for my body right now? And this can lead to ask deeper questions like – Holy Spirit, what are you inviting me into this day or this moment?

So with this first week of being sugar free living under our belt, I’m not taking lightly the opportunities to be encouraged from several diverse venues. While creating this blog post I was listening to a Spotify playlist titled “Top 100 of the Most Beautiful Songs from Reddit”. Moonlight Sonata was played and I remember being a young teen playing the piece with ease. I also used to be able to do the splits and front flips with ease but at 47, not so much. I spent about 30 minutes practicing the first sheet of music and after writing down some of the notes as guides on the musical staff I was able to stumble through it. But it brought me so much joy. I think I might try to add “Comptine d’un autre été: l’après-midi” which looks more like playing the harp on the piano.

As expected, this week has been filed with ups and downs. I’ve slumped into sadness, feeling as though I’m not enough and failing, to reaching for love and forgiveness and bouncing back with even more freedom. I’m not sure if that is typical for a cleansing fast but I’ve been asking for the breaking of strongholds and chains – couldn’t expect that to come easy breezy.

Last night we watched “Tree of Life” and the experience exemplifies the week of high and lows. I loved it and heard wonderful reviews for it. That said, this movie was not a cup of tea for my family (which made me feel a little disappointed that they did not love it like I did), but I was swept away by the aesthetically gripping story of a family being mangled by fear, anger, and emptiness. It spoke so deeply to me that I had a visceral reaction to the movie and experiencing a severe headache and nausea. I took a remedy of Nux Vomica and two advil (which I try not to ever use but I was hurting so badly I didnt’ want to take the time to find the right homeopathic). The father figure was so consumed by the desire to “be something” or “prove his worth” that his family, particularly his oldest son took the brunt of his fear of insignificance acted out in aggression.

Eventually the story of redemption pours out of the screen. There was amazing visualization of the vastness of the planetary universe contrasted with the enormity of the microscopic universe, which we are sandwiched in between. Throughout the movie, characters wrestle with God, asking Him “Are you there?” “Why did you allow this to happen?” “Do you see me?” “Do you care?” The family individually and collectively pursue a connection with God and seek to understand His interaction with those which they love and hold onto dreams they hold dear. I was so moved by the deep fear and passion depicted on the screen. I truly was reliving parts of my childhood and unfortunately seeing myself personified in the role of controlling father, voiceless mother, hungry-for-love son. Actually, they were all hungry for love and seeking fulfilment in their masked identify. Mercifully, my heart was put at rest and ease at the end when redemption was so clearly projected – redemption for the family, its members, and other travelers on this life-supporting speck of dirt as we spiral hurdling through space. I loved “Tree of Life.” I also have a fascination with all Biblical reverences to trees in general and any symbolism I come across is exhilarating.

Joy Clarkson who hosts the podcast “Speaking with Joy“, recommended this movie. Her resources are always so fresh and rejuvenating. I am living vicariously through this young lady’s PhD educational adventures at St. Andrews in Scotland. We will be visiting England/Scotland in April so I’m even more swept away when Joy drops a secret podcast on her Patreon that deals with living on that history-filled island. We are supporters of her Patreon because we love to see young people pursuing their purpose.

Next week I’d like to continue my conversation while sharing some resources on taking good care of our world. And because I cannot wait to share, have you seen “The Biggest Little Farm”? It is amazing and I think you will love it and be encouraged to see redemption of our dirt.

The lake where I walk our Corgi each day – rain or shine, snow or sleet.

Deuteronomy 31:8 (ESV)
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.

Shepherds and their Sheep

August 29, 2019

As a young girl I heard many sermons on being used as a tool of God, which sounds good on the surface. Many words were spoken to get the flock serving others around us by being this holy tool. There was little talk about God’s grace, but a lot of words brimming with wrath. So not surprisingly, I saw adults acting as a hammer, sometimes an ax, coarse sandpaper. Shepherds were being trained to use the rod and staff to beat their sheep and shame them into submission.

As a young married couple we moved out of state and to a different community of believers. The first sermons were on the topic of grace. I spent a morning crying in the church bathroom, not sure why I was so touched by the sermon but repeating to myself, “I never knew….I never knew.” Fifteen years in church, five years of AWANA, eight years of private Christian school, and I never knew of God’s grace. I thought it was up to me to be that “perfect little tool” to slap people over the head with scripture and set an example of the “perfect little Christian life”. Hiding behind that mask was a lifeless, sin-filled, totally lost sheep who had wandered away from the flock.

Fast forward to today. I’m a mom of two teens and a grade schooler. We home educate and many times I default into trying to be a tool in my children’s lives. My focus can be on outcomes, behaviors, externals. But again, and again I am reminded through scripture reading, times of worship and retreat, walks, gazing at the wonder of nature, that God is our Good Shephard who does not beat his sheep. He uses his rod and staff to gently guide us, protect us, and keep the enemy out of our green pastures. He does not USE his sheep nor does He desire for us to use others.

1 The Lord is my shepherd , I shall not want . 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures ; He leads me beside quiet waters . 3 He restores my soul ; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake . 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death , I fear no evil , for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff , they comfort me 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies ; You have anointed my head with oil ; My cup overflows . 6 Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life , And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

When we view our Father as one who wants to USE, we can infer that we are less than human – a thing to obtain an end. Then we start to treat others non-humanly. We look around and see who we can use instead of connecting with hearts, souls, minds. We manipulate. We put up an image of perfect families, systems, programs as an idol in our hearts. And then we become disillusioned when our “perfect little families” idol blows up in our face. People to leave the faith because of this disillusionment. We feel we gave God A, B, C and He owes us X, Y, Z. This is what happens when we build on our terms. But God’s purpose for creating us was relationship. Relationship means communion. Communion means oneness. I am not at oneness when I’m trying to make someone bend to my ideals.

“Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than they love the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest and sacrificial. God hates this wishful dreaming because it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. Those who dream of this idolized community demand that it be fulfilled by God, by others and by themselves. They enter the community of Christians with their demands set up by their own law, and judge one another and God accordingly. It is not we who build. Christ builds the church. Whoever is mindful to build the church is surely well on the way to destroying it, for he will build a temple to idols without wishing or knowing it. We must confess he builds. We must proclaim, he builds. We must pray to him, and he will build. We do not know his plan. We cannot see whether he is building or pulling down. It may be that the times which by human standards are the times of collapse are for him the great times of construction. It may be that the times which from a human point are great times for the church are times when it’s pulled down. It is a great comfort which Jesus gives to his church. You confess, preach, bear witness to me, and I alone will build where it pleases me. Do not meddle in what is not your providence. Do what is given to you, and do it well, and you will have done enough…. Live together in the forgiveness of your sins. Forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

As we start up another year of home education I can see the results of my former scaffolding falling away, which is so good. I don’t want to live as a tool, trying to shape and mold people into my image. Our family can live in the freedom of following our Shephard. He alone guides our hearts. Many times I believe I’m the reminder of how broken we humans are and how amazing and loving Father is with us. And we pray.

Two resources that have been so helpful in understanding our Father as Shephard are:

“Enjoy the Shephard – Ray Carman” on Facebook

“Scouting the Divine” by Margaret Feinberg. She is also on Facebook. Here is a video from her summer Bible Study:https://www.facebook.com/margaretfeinberg/videos/1748219118565542/

Power in Prayer

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Prayer

Ephesians 1:15 – 20 Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God’s people everywhere, I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.

Parenting is humbling. I had great dreams and aspirations when we used the previous verse to dedicate our children to God. At the time it seemed that this would be a challenging road but we would work hard and do our best to lead our children to the Lord. After many years, I’ve sometimes considered myself disqualified from leading anyone to our Savior. At times I’ve joked that my shortcomings are invitations for my children to experience parental imperfection which will drive them to our Father and therapy. But instead of being fatalistic in these relationships, I am reminded of the power of Prayer.

So this is my first month of intentionally praying God’s Word over my family. Instead of harbouring hurt feelings, fear, apprehension, frantic worries over the future and my need to take control because our lives do not look like the pretty picture I imagined in the above verses, I’m pouring all that energy into Prayer. Would you join me in prayer for your children as well? And as we enter into these prayers we pray for ourselves. Our hearts need constant cultivating to stay on The Way. And He generously answers our prayers.

I pray that my children will receive and Love Jesus, commit their lives to our Father and be filled with the Holy Spirit, and enjoy a cherished relationshiop with Him.

Salvation

John 3:16 – 17 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

(I pray that my children will understand how you love them and you offer them eternal life through your Son.)

Be filled by the Spirit and Obey

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Ephesians 1:23 And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.

Ephesians 4:11 – 13 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.

(I pray that my children will be filled with the Holy Spirit and use their gifting to serve Your Kingdom.)

To Know Who they are In Christ

Philippians 3:9 – 10 I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead.

Psalm 9:10 Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O LORD, do not abandon those who search for you.

Ephesians 1:4 – 8 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.

Colossians 1:27 For God wanted them to know that the riches and glory of Christ are for you Gentiles, too. And this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This gives you assurance of sharing his glory.

(Show us your heart and your intentions for us and how you are in us. Help us to trust you Lord.)